Behavioral Changes to Attractiveness

Several steps have been taken to become the person that I am now. No longer am I the person that I was in middle school. Out with the puffy bowlcut, unflattering clothes, and extreme introversion, and in with a medium length, wavy/straight hairstyle, different way of dress, and more extroverted attitude. Standing 5' 2" tall as an Asian American female, I have become my own person–a sense of identity completely separate from the Asian stereotype. That being said, my uniqueness and selfhood is something I will always treasure and has made me feel secure with myself.

Entering middle school, I was thrust into a new environment. While my elementary years were an ignorant bliss, I felt great anxiety in the next chapter of my life. I encountered different social standards from before. People were far more aggressive and socioeconomic barriers became obvious. I took longer paths to reach a destination simply because I did not want to be seen by many people. I was always afraid that I would give people the impression that I was a loner, so I used to ask people to walk with me EVERYWHERE around school. I did not know how to dress myself and gave up on myself appearance wise.

That began to change in 8th grade. I met a girl named Jennah. Thanks to her, I bought ridiculously expensive pants and random tops. Unfortunately, that was not the only awkward stage in my life .Entering high school was another strange chapter. Still slightly socially inept, I had a difficult time adapting to a school completely out of my area with much higher social standards. After graduating, I can truthfully say that I am glad to have gone to that high school, not only for its education, but for the lessons it has taught me on how to conduct myself in public.

Anyway, that is not the subject I want to touch up on. Becoming conventionally attractive has elicited many responses, both favorable and unfavorable. Being able to frequent more social circles due to better social acceptability/treatment is definitely a perk. Now able to smile and function daily in society, I am finally confident. However, there are some setbacks.

As an "ugly duckling," I did not face the problem of excessively friendly people. Unwanted verbal utterances constitute as harassment. Unwanted physical contact is assault. For some reason, I almost forgot that it was not normal for this to happen in daily life. For one, people always assumed I was a genius back when I fit the Asian stereotype. Now, people believe they have the license to insult my intelligence and make crude descriptions of my body. Although they are basically calling me attractive, I find the descriptions intensely disrespectful.

Another thing that I would like to add is the fact that some of my friends have been forced into sexual situations by males that they once saw as a (potential) friend. I will always remember this: My ex-best friend telling me about a boy locking her in his room unless she let him touch her body. I too have been approached by people that have had a sexual interest in me. When getting food before going to the Homecoming dance, a classmate of my friend from middle school decided to slide his hand around my waist. Rather than seeing it as flattering, I was disgusted and find the unwanted attention intrusive.

Of course, superficiality affects everyone negatively and I cannot avoid this type of attention altogether by going backwards on my progress. Regardless, people will choose to push against another person's boundaries, either to test him/her or ignore them. Whether it is pushing at his/her boundaries or being rude, shutting down someone's attraction to you can easily be done. Behavior that makes another individual uncomfortable should be stopped and it's a simple fact I forget.