In today's society, the term virgin has become a label synonymous with being undesirable, prudish, or abnormally conservative. While that may be the case, there is also social stigma to having sexual experience. Being a non-virgin either equates to social status or promiscuity. It sometimes bears no such consequence. In my opinion, this can be summed up in one's viewpoint of sex, whether or not it is seen as an entirely separate matter from love and affection. For others, it is the mere result of carnal desire. In essence, sexual intercourse is a physical action, but it can have MORE meaning when involving an emotional connection.
For me, I could ever be sexually involved with another individual who I did not love. Moreover, I do not want that person to be a transient figure in my life and, simply fade away in importance and remain as a memory. To commit and deeply invest in another individual–that will undoubtedly take a heavy toll on me. Intimacy, closeness with another person, and the strength of love are all things that I treasure. I have never dated someone without thinking that person was perfect for me and that the relationship would last.
With sex, there are many responsibilities as well as consequences. I am a virgin myself partially due to my unwillingness to deal with the possible negative aftershock of sex. Sex can be seen as the aftermath of lack of control or a release to primal instinct/hormones. However, I see it as a question of whether or not s/he had exposure to a sexual education. I do not believe in shunning. It is not the perfect vaccine for people who exist in a culture where
they are left complete vulnerable to peer pressure and the adverse
effects of a pack mentality, nor does it does
not ensure that the person will take preparatory measures for sex. With no sexual education, an individual stays ignorant and nothing will dissuade him/her from sex. Plus, those that are younger tend to have a mentality in which it is "cool" to take actions normally considered negative in society. A condemning response carries the assumption that the individual is not intelligent enough to make his/her own decisions and it must be chosen for him/her. To be frank, sexual intercourse is truly a decision entirely up to that individual and, no outside source should define and/or decide that for him/her.
Overall, sex is a sensitive subject and regardless of your interpretation of sex, it should involve consenting, responsible, and informed adults with access to contraceptives.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
We were strangers.
We were strangers, for way too long, for way too long,
We were strangers, for way too long.
Violent, violent,
Were strangers.
Get weak all the time, may just pass the time,
Me in my own world, yeah you there beside,
The gaps are enormous, we stare from each side,
We were strangers for way too long.
Violent, more violent, his hand cracks the chair,
Moves on reaction, then slumps in despair,
Trapped in a cage and surrendered too soon,
Me in my own world, the one that you knew,
For way too long.
We were strangers, for way too long.
We were strangers,
We were strangers, for way too long.
For way too long.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Feminism
An underlying theme in the problems revolving around feminism is the concept that women are believed to suffer much more in her social environment in comparison to men. The founding principle of feminism was gender equality, yet it seems to be movement whose morals have become diluted and taken over entirely by radical, anti-misogynist, misandric extremists. Feminism in itself seems to have become sexist.
Lately, I have noticed a great influx of "feminist" spirit in people. Perhaps this is only my area and the people I associate with. Male privilege this, male privilege that. I thought the main purpose of feminism was to establish gender equality. Wouldn't this be a direct show of absolute hypocrisy that undermines male issues and forces them into a marginal position?
Bearing this in mind, I believe people tend to forget that there are FEMALE privileges as well. For one, females have the power to openly discuss how men have little to no issues without being labeled sexist. Another one is having people concerned about you walking alone, while a male is expected to "toughen up" and be a man when face-to-face with those dark streets. The list is endless and subjective.
All in all, women do have privileges, as do men. Being aware of these privileges do not negate the suffering of that gender itself. When one social group has an advantage, the other typically has a disadvantage.
Other problems that I have noticed in regards to how feminism is carried out is its expectations and the impossibility of it.
One of the reoccurring arguments of feminism that I have noticed is that people should ALWAYS respect others for their sexuality. On a social network, a lesbian peer of mine claimed that she was rejected from a job opportunity in Idaho simply on the basis of her sexuality and claimed it was a feminist issue, yet I saw her a moment later "liking" a page that bashes on women, or as they were referred to on the page... sluts. Personally, I found it incredibly ironic for someone to feel disrespected because of her sexuality and condone this type of condescending attitude when it came to other female's sexual behavior...
Dressing in a promiscuous manner can be seen as a characteristic, as in that person does not respect his or herself. Firstly, people are entitled to pass judgement on others. Moreover, if a man or woman does not respect him or herself, it is absurd for him or her to demand or expect respect from all persons. However, a controversial topic such as this will undoubtedly cross into another sensitive subject: rape. While I believe that no individual automatically deserves respect, a person's way of dress is no invitation for sexual harassment or exploitation.
Like any other movement, feminism carries its far share of holes in its arguments. If I would have to base social problems on immutable physical aspects, I find ethnicity and identity to be much more applicable, as well as broad.
Although racism is not as prevalent as before, it is subtle and its vestiges are still found pervading the confines of the United States. With the Anglo-Saxon race as the majority, minorities often feel obligated to assimilate. Having had a white majority, they are held to a higher esteem and non-whites’ must endure unequal treatment, along with alienation and condemnation for their differences. For example, studies have shown that an equal distribution of people among races commit crimes, yet people of color are more likely to be charged for their heinous crimes.
Cross-group interactions between dissimilar races can reduce tension and increase more empathy among the majority toward minorities. In spite of that, that is only possible if the minority conforms, making the acculturation process unequal. They must deteriorate their cultural foundation and submit to the culture of the majority. As a result, they develop a condition of hybrid identity, an aftermath of racial prejudice.
However, minority problems are not a mere problems that involve race. Women with executive positions in the professional world can also constitute as a minority. Three white men in group full of Chinese females would also be a minority. Although one social group may be afflicted to tremendous distress, it does not trivialize or exempt the other group from having problems. It may not be distressful to the same extent or matter, but problems remain as problems; it is a matter of whether or not YOU will acknowledge them.
The framework or argument for majority-minority issues carry the same basic principles: a formula of subjugation of a smaller social group who must then acculturate to a larger group. (When ethnological identification becomes a factor, it becomes post-colonialism.) It is assumed that minorities, being smaller in number as well as power, are thrown into a world of despotic rule in which the majority is the authority. Typically, those of Caucasian descent have an social advantage, in the form of what is known as "white privilege." The minority, having become spiteful, identifies deeply with issues founded completely on race or socioeconomic differences, resulting in a sense of racism. By categorizing problems by these defining (physical) qualities, bias comes into play and for lack of better words, they fail to recognize their inadequacies AND see the "big picture."
These issues are not a gender based dilemma, nor is it a matter of ethnicity. PEOPLE that cannot fit within the parameters of social normality are thrust into a world full of maltreatment. Cut the identification with these physical aspects. Be courteous because that person is HUMAN. Remove your narrow-minded expectations and put little emphasis on petty physical attributes. People are entitled to the same human rights; it does not recognize a boundary between gender, race, or religion beliefs, nor does it hold any group of people with more regard than the other. Doing so would be an act of marginalization and devaluation through favoritism and selection. In conclusion, dissimilarities are irreconcilable, but they should be embraced with utmost respect instead of bigotry and criticism.
Lately, I have noticed a great influx of "feminist" spirit in people. Perhaps this is only my area and the people I associate with. Male privilege this, male privilege that. I thought the main purpose of feminism was to establish gender equality. Wouldn't this be a direct show of absolute hypocrisy that undermines male issues and forces them into a marginal position?
Bearing this in mind, I believe people tend to forget that there are FEMALE privileges as well. For one, females have the power to openly discuss how men have little to no issues without being labeled sexist. Another one is having people concerned about you walking alone, while a male is expected to "toughen up" and be a man when face-to-face with those dark streets. The list is endless and subjective.
All in all, women do have privileges, as do men. Being aware of these privileges do not negate the suffering of that gender itself. When one social group has an advantage, the other typically has a disadvantage.
Other problems that I have noticed in regards to how feminism is carried out is its expectations and the impossibility of it.
One of the reoccurring arguments of feminism that I have noticed is that people should ALWAYS respect others for their sexuality. On a social network, a lesbian peer of mine claimed that she was rejected from a job opportunity in Idaho simply on the basis of her sexuality and claimed it was a feminist issue, yet I saw her a moment later "liking" a page that bashes on women, or as they were referred to on the page... sluts. Personally, I found it incredibly ironic for someone to feel disrespected because of her sexuality and condone this type of condescending attitude when it came to other female's sexual behavior...
Dressing in a promiscuous manner can be seen as a characteristic, as in that person does not respect his or herself. Firstly, people are entitled to pass judgement on others. Moreover, if a man or woman does not respect him or herself, it is absurd for him or her to demand or expect respect from all persons. However, a controversial topic such as this will undoubtedly cross into another sensitive subject: rape. While I believe that no individual automatically deserves respect, a person's way of dress is no invitation for sexual harassment or exploitation.
Like any other movement, feminism carries its far share of holes in its arguments. If I would have to base social problems on immutable physical aspects, I find ethnicity and identity to be much more applicable, as well as broad.
Although racism is not as prevalent as before, it is subtle and its vestiges are still found pervading the confines of the United States. With the Anglo-Saxon race as the majority, minorities often feel obligated to assimilate. Having had a white majority, they are held to a higher esteem and non-whites’ must endure unequal treatment, along with alienation and condemnation for their differences. For example, studies have shown that an equal distribution of people among races commit crimes, yet people of color are more likely to be charged for their heinous crimes.
Cross-group interactions between dissimilar races can reduce tension and increase more empathy among the majority toward minorities. In spite of that, that is only possible if the minority conforms, making the acculturation process unequal. They must deteriorate their cultural foundation and submit to the culture of the majority. As a result, they develop a condition of hybrid identity, an aftermath of racial prejudice.
However, minority problems are not a mere problems that involve race. Women with executive positions in the professional world can also constitute as a minority. Three white men in group full of Chinese females would also be a minority. Although one social group may be afflicted to tremendous distress, it does not trivialize or exempt the other group from having problems. It may not be distressful to the same extent or matter, but problems remain as problems; it is a matter of whether or not YOU will acknowledge them.
The framework or argument for majority-minority issues carry the same basic principles: a formula of subjugation of a smaller social group who must then acculturate to a larger group. (When ethnological identification becomes a factor, it becomes post-colonialism.) It is assumed that minorities, being smaller in number as well as power, are thrown into a world of despotic rule in which the majority is the authority. Typically, those of Caucasian descent have an social advantage, in the form of what is known as "white privilege." The minority, having become spiteful, identifies deeply with issues founded completely on race or socioeconomic differences, resulting in a sense of racism. By categorizing problems by these defining (physical) qualities, bias comes into play and for lack of better words, they fail to recognize their inadequacies AND see the "big picture."
These issues are not a gender based dilemma, nor is it a matter of ethnicity. PEOPLE that cannot fit within the parameters of social normality are thrust into a world full of maltreatment. Cut the identification with these physical aspects. Be courteous because that person is HUMAN. Remove your narrow-minded expectations and put little emphasis on petty physical attributes. People are entitled to the same human rights; it does not recognize a boundary between gender, race, or religion beliefs, nor does it hold any group of people with more regard than the other. Doing so would be an act of marginalization and devaluation through favoritism and selection. In conclusion, dissimilarities are irreconcilable, but they should be embraced with utmost respect instead of bigotry and criticism.
Dreams
By the end of one's lifetime, that individual will have spent a quarter of his or her life dreaming, absolutely spinning in fantasies. The rest of his or her waking hours will be spent entirely on the external world... When s/he reclines and submits into what feels like a dreaming oblivion, the brain will try to decipher and interpret external stimuli in the waking world. Dreams are essentially the random firing of neuron cells into the brain. It is the brain's attempts to make sense of information (that we are already aware of) by processing emotional memories, integrating new experiences with established memories, creating new strategies or methods of completing tasks, simulating threatening events to help us develop defense mechanisms against them, or reorganizing and consolidating memories. Bearing this in mind, this sometimes gives us greater insight or it is completely nonsensical. Acting as an indication of our mental health and connecting us to our subconscious mind, dreams help provide meaning for our past, present, and future by keeping us in tune with our emotions.
If my dreams are a mirror of myself and my troubles, that makes me wonder about what my dreams are telling me about myself. I've had two dreams that are troubling me. Both seem to be out of the ordinary.
In my first dream, I dreamt of a young boy. Every time he got close to someone, that person would die. As it turns out, the spirit of a young girl stuck close to him and killed people. To stop her killings, the boy had to put her spirit to rest. In his case, he had to kill her father, who turned out to be a serial killer. He completed an investigation with a female friend of his and found the serial killer's house. For some reason, I was suddenly with them, helping them out with the investigation. Inside the house, they found mutilated bodies and dismembered body parts. The serial killer saw us and gave us time to escape so he could have some "fun." The boy and his friend were running in front of me and I couldn't keep up with their pace, so I ended up hiding behind a bush. The serial killer released his vicious dogs. Doberman Pinschers, to be more specific. My dream ended with the serial killer chasing them, along with his dogs, and with me behind the bush, waiting for a chance to escape.
As for my second dream, I dreamt of a man talking to an inmate in jail. They were left with the task of fixing or watching a metal hand. At the sight of the metal hand, the man had a flashback about his son. He cut off his son's hands with a pair of blunt scissors and I'm not sure if he killed his son. After telling this story to the inmate, he went out to throw out a black bag full of trash. Upon returning, the other man stabbed him with the metal hand. Attached to the metal hand was the man's son's decaying hand.
I looked up interpretations of themes in dreams:
Chasing:
"This extremely common dream is thought to indicate that the person is under tremendous stress in the waking world. It can also mean that the person is feeling attacked and threatened – either by a person or by powerful emotions that the dreamer finds hard to contain and control."
"Psychologists tend to think that 'chase dreams' occur when we are unable to cope with our fears and have trouble facing reality. Once ignored, these thoughts and images manifest over time in our unconscious mind, then is released during sleep in the form as a chase dream. These fears include stress, anxiety and phobias that we have overlooked and now it rearing it’s ugly head."
Killers:
"To see a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something."
"Killing in your dreams does not make you a closet murderer; it represents your desire to 'kill' part of your own personality. It can also symbolize hostility towards a particular person and the desire to see them suffer."
Stabbing:
"To dream that you have been stabbed signifies your struggle with power. You are experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling betrayed as reflected by the popular phrase, 'being stabbed in the back'."
"To dream that you stab someone indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You are being overly defensive."
What am I overlooking?
If my dreams are a mirror of myself and my troubles, that makes me wonder about what my dreams are telling me about myself. I've had two dreams that are troubling me. Both seem to be out of the ordinary.
In my first dream, I dreamt of a young boy. Every time he got close to someone, that person would die. As it turns out, the spirit of a young girl stuck close to him and killed people. To stop her killings, the boy had to put her spirit to rest. In his case, he had to kill her father, who turned out to be a serial killer. He completed an investigation with a female friend of his and found the serial killer's house. For some reason, I was suddenly with them, helping them out with the investigation. Inside the house, they found mutilated bodies and dismembered body parts. The serial killer saw us and gave us time to escape so he could have some "fun." The boy and his friend were running in front of me and I couldn't keep up with their pace, so I ended up hiding behind a bush. The serial killer released his vicious dogs. Doberman Pinschers, to be more specific. My dream ended with the serial killer chasing them, along with his dogs, and with me behind the bush, waiting for a chance to escape.
As for my second dream, I dreamt of a man talking to an inmate in jail. They were left with the task of fixing or watching a metal hand. At the sight of the metal hand, the man had a flashback about his son. He cut off his son's hands with a pair of blunt scissors and I'm not sure if he killed his son. After telling this story to the inmate, he went out to throw out a black bag full of trash. Upon returning, the other man stabbed him with the metal hand. Attached to the metal hand was the man's son's decaying hand.
I looked up interpretations of themes in dreams:
Chasing:
"This extremely common dream is thought to indicate that the person is under tremendous stress in the waking world. It can also mean that the person is feeling attacked and threatened – either by a person or by powerful emotions that the dreamer finds hard to contain and control."
"Psychologists tend to think that 'chase dreams' occur when we are unable to cope with our fears and have trouble facing reality. Once ignored, these thoughts and images manifest over time in our unconscious mind, then is released during sleep in the form as a chase dream. These fears include stress, anxiety and phobias that we have overlooked and now it rearing it’s ugly head."
Killers:
"To see a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something."
"Killing in your dreams does not make you a closet murderer; it represents your desire to 'kill' part of your own personality. It can also symbolize hostility towards a particular person and the desire to see them suffer."
Stabbing:
"To dream that you have been stabbed signifies your struggle with power. You are experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling betrayed as reflected by the popular phrase, 'being stabbed in the back'."
"To dream that you stab someone indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You are being overly defensive."
What am I overlooking?
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Weekend Mornings
Some mornings I wake up to the screaming and violent presence of an angry mother. An unpleasant beginning begets another dull day, either ending with me doing absolutely nothing productive or being harassed to some level. That is how my weekends usually carry out... It's a terrible process. All I want is a quiet day, one where I won't have to hear about my useless contribution to society and life in general. I passive-aggressively approach this situation often in my head; I always end up being some sort of doctor, fixing life's mistakes–myself and my actions. Other times, I create an alternate universe because reality is not my friend. In the end, I always bear with the situation and say nothing, do nothing, and act as though nothing happened. The other day, someone told me I was perfect. Funny, because I am no where close to perfect.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Extraordinary
I look at the mass of flesh in the mirror and I see someone normal. I am not fat, but not amazingly thin. My legs are far from bulky, but they are not fragile sticks. I am normal. I want to be extraordinary. Not normal. Far from myself. Extraordinary. Just for you.
Next to you, I am a destructive wreck, a sharp contrast from the perfection that you are. Subconsciously, I feel that I do not deserve you in my life, therefore I don't deserve to be happy. You are too perfect. I want to change. I need to change.
Your presence brings the feeling of joy to the surface. I don't know how to cope with being happy. I don't know how to handle kindness and your undying grace. I want to deserve you.
Next to you, I am a destructive wreck, a sharp contrast from the perfection that you are. Subconsciously, I feel that I do not deserve you in my life, therefore I don't deserve to be happy. You are too perfect. I want to change. I need to change.
Your presence brings the feeling of joy to the surface. I don't know how to cope with being happy. I don't know how to handle kindness and your undying grace. I want to deserve you.
When I say I love you, I love you wholly and tragically. I love the sincerity in your smile, the way the ends of your lips lift up, and how that could drastically change into a broken frown, a grim line, quivering and shaking. I love the crinkling of your wonderful eyes, as it glistens with your illuminating joy, and I love it still, even when the tidal waves come rushing out, leaving nothing more but a jaded expression and a dull gleam in those once shining orbs. I love the timbre of your speech, the melodic values of your voice, how it leaps from tone to tone, akin to a symphony, and how it trembles and shakes with dissonance whenever you are distressed.
I love the soft pitter-pattering of your feet, the music your feet create when you walk; I also love your retreating figure, your slouching form, the way it fades with the distance as you walk away from me. I love you so much I think I need you. I love you so much I want to be the ideal of image of beauty you were looking for. I love you so much I think I don't need you. I love you so much I could throw away my silly desires for more and be happy with nothing more. I love you so much, but I need more. I love you so much, that I can't love you so much.
I love the soft pitter-pattering of your feet, the music your feet create when you walk; I also love your retreating figure, your slouching form, the way it fades with the distance as you walk away from me. I love you so much I think I need you. I love you so much I want to be the ideal of image of beauty you were looking for. I love you so much I think I don't need you. I love you so much I could throw away my silly desires for more and be happy with nothing more. I love you so much, but I need more. I love you so much, that I can't love you so much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)