Temporary

It's in these lonely, bitter moments that I realize how downtrodden I've become, and when the lights are out, the distractions gone, I realize how comforting it would be to have your bright and shining warmth by my side in the wake of this terrifying and monumental loneliness. I ache for an end to what I perceive as a divide in physical and emotional proximity, between me and you, and everyone and everything I know. I'm not lost. I have an active lifestyle, but with the precious moments with myself, I am afraid. Seeking out the presence of another individual will not put a halt to these feelings. That, I know, because I have let others spend my time for me and all I am usually left with is a bitter tang of unfulfillment. I must remind myself that this profound uncertainty is only temporary, something that makes me distinctly human. It's just a transition. Thus, I escape into myself; I withdraw and let my insides feel like nothing. No distractions. I am feeling what I feel. It's normal. And I'm scared and terribly alone, yet I am not.